When writing a eulogy, talk to friends and family of the loved one to get a more personal perspective on his or her life. Remember, a eulogy is not an obituary, it’s much more personal and intimate.
When faced with such a task in the midst of grief and emotional upheaval, it is important to keep in mind that a eulogy is not an obituary. A eulogy goes much deeper than the biographical facts of a person's life. A well-done eulogy tells what that person meant to you and others in life. A eulogy should be heartwarming and memorable and even contain some humor. Here are some tips on how to proceed when asked to honor a loved one with a eulogy: 1. Brainstorm People approach this in different ways. You can just start writing or typing out your thoughts, asking yourself what qualities this person had, what was most outstanding about him or her, what this person meant to you. If you have trouble getting started, draw a circle on a piece of paper and write the person's name in the center. Attach lines to the circle and write in words that answer these same questions. From there, those words will form sentences, paragraphs and then whole thoughts. 2. Talk to others Ask others to relate stories and memories that you can include. Everyone has a different relationship with the person, and including their impressions will develop a fuller picture of the deceased. 3. Include lively, even funny, stories Anecdotes tell a story in a way people remember and appreciate. Listing a person's qualities can be boring and won't do the person justice. Show those qualities through stories about the things your loved one did in life. 4. It's not about you Although a eulogy is from your point of view, leave yourself out of it as much as possible. This is a about the deceased. When editing the piece, ask yourself if there is too much in it about you. Hold the thought of your loved one close as you write and you will portray them lovingly and accurately and end up with a fitting tribute that will make you and everyone around you proud. 5. Laugh a little Laughter is the best medicine, and a funeral is about beginning the healing process, so don't be afraid to share a few funny stories. 6. Be you own best editor Give yourself time to sleep on your work. Set it aside and come back after some time has passed and read it again. Read it out loud. If it's more than eight minutes, it's too long! Aim for a five- minute eulogy. When editing, look for vague language and non-descriptive words that can be deleted. Make every image count with detail, anecdotes and loving memories.
